Ms Independent running into faded memories..

lomo_k100_22

2011-02-24T18:31:00.001+08:00

lomo_k100_22
Originally uploaded by mariczka

2011

2011-01-10T20:35:00.001+08:00

Dear Dîary,
Now itx 2011. .gosh time realy passed. .n here i am updating. .trying to see if it work updating through my mobile. .

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Sigh

2010-11-22T02:35:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I dont get. Farked it. I seriously dun understand y within each minute, he will just change. N giveup everything. ANd @ e every PEAK of argument, DAT FARKING SON oF THE BItch will owaes interfere!!! arghhhh!!! THIS IS SOOO NOT HELPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT! I JUST LOVE YOU OK! IF YOU KEEP LOSING HOPE. OMG! ARGHHHH!!!!

Moving on

2010-08-15T02:07:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

It sure has been awhile.. Well for e past mia was because i was bz w life.. 2 many things happen and trust me,it all happened so fast. That sometime i cant follow the pace. But hey, this is life right? Is either u get up and start walking again or simply be stagnant. . Hmm.. Well.. I don't know where to begin.. So let me just sum everything up in random k?

Firstly, well now that i can loosen a bit.. Im able to move on. .well not completely. But i know i have progress. I do miss him. And i know saiful will always be watching over me and i will always love him. I will always do. Probably, this is one of the reason why im still single. Well,frankly. Im not searching and im not interested. . I can see that, there's a lot of thing i can do,explore,learn. Most importantly all these surely taught me to be strong and independent. Thank-you saiful. Thank-you for every single thing. .If im moving on and being happy,it doesnt mean i forget you right saiful? Believe me when i say its hard to say goodbye. . You will always be here. I know. I feel it. =)) Im open-up to every opportunity that is coming my way. I can see the bigger picture. I want to see this wide world. . Believe me or not. I don't know what,how or why.. But i feel sooo in

♥.. its w nobody.. but i just have this feeling.. U know like you're in ♥ but i know im not. .i dont know how to describe it. But this is how i see things around me.With this feeling. And its really nice. It make me a better person. :))

Secondly, hm.. My used to be crush. . I heard he's attached now. All the best to your relationship. May you guyz last till eternity.. =)) oh yeahh.. After which, i had another one. Sunny; really 1 sweet good looking guy! But thing doesn't seem to work out between us. I mean his seeing someone else and honestly.I don't mind cause in life, we ought to choose and decide. he found a better lady than me. So yeah. I can accept the fact.

I believe,sometimes there is reasons why that particular person/soul remain in our past. like a crossroad. When the time is up,they will leave but we will surely know how it felt and realised what they left behind have something that we can learn from it. .life is too short to be hated. . See what i mean. I really learn a lot from him. . Even though,he's not around. He gave me the strength to move on. I have faith in myself and allah.. Syukor alhamdulilah.. Insyallah. .

One thing for sure,im not going to give up no matter what. Yes i will fall. But i'll make sure i get up stronger! I have the courage and confident in myself that i can succeed in life. And you know something? This is MY LIFE! SO IM SOOO GONA MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT!! I love you saiful. I always do.

itzHuNy♥..

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.

Out of place.

2010-04-16T00:04:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Im confused. I hate to feel this way.. All mixedup feelings tying to figure out this untangle thread.Urgghh...i really do.. I really wanna go to somewhere where i can just have space,silence n myself. .soul-searching. . Its has been really pathetic 2 prolong this.. Well i hope to spent some quite moments this weekend w my bff. .we need major catching up urgently!

Oh god.Give me the strength,will to go through this.. I canT wait 4 e moment i break into this surrounding.. Cause i know something GREAT is waiting for me to grab it. But i feel so trashed,misplaced right now. I need to break this. I got to retaliate. Balle balle huny! Jy2!! u can do it. have faith,be strong n i know i can make it through.. god's willing..

itzHuNy♥..

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.

Greatest silence

2010-04-11T02:29:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I cant deny it. I still ant move on. Im still pondering over Saiful.. I miss him. I miss a lot.N its killing me. 1st April was supposed to be his 24th bdae.. But hedidnt make to that point.. Well.. Wad was i doing on 1st April.. I slog my time to full shift work.. So that i wouldnt think n crying much.. I EXHAUST myself..bcuz i dont 1 2 cry.. A few days ltr, i broke down. I cant hold e silence much futher.. I just burst maself crying..sigh.. i dont know..its really hard 4 me 2 move on.. Hes my 1st love..n i was his last love.. how can i 4get my 1st love? i cant imagine it end in such tragedy.. When i broke down.. Everything flashes in my mind.. Hw we met. Hw much we used to argue. hw very close n comfortble we were.. 2 name a few..Most how much i miss his presence.. I just wish he wud b here w me.. wad does it take 4 me to meet u again Saiful? i now i got to move on.. i am..but slowly.. Every happy couples will remind me u.. Every newly-wed will remind me on how much we plan n look forward to be ours.

I just shut maself to every guy that try 2 win my heart.. its not ez.. There will be no another saiful..there this particular guy that i actually like.. ( i mentioned him in previous post).He rejected me once. N he's back again.. But then.. I will just follow e flow N not readin much into it.. Im sure Saiful wud 1 me 2 fall 4 a guy like him. ;)) He can make me happy just like Saiful did..N guide n be firm w me. I like him. I really do. I dun mind if i have to wait. Saiful wud owaes be e 1 dat i wud neva forget. . so does dz guy.. bcux he's special. ;))

I will always remember the way Saiful love,hurt n take care of me.. I love you Saiful.. I really do 2 e bottom of my deepst heart.. No one can tell me how we felt. No one can feel the love that we resist n fought. No one can say we didnt exist. I love you is what i feel for you. . I love you. & i will always do.. Death really do us apart..

Love,

HuNy

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.

Towards e future

2009-12-13T10:24:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Well.. Where shall i begin... hm...1st of all.. cian anak aku msk pital.. Lia..i hope ko dpt msg aku.. I noe ur p8 da low.. andi msk pital beb. .

Sch wise,its sch holdays!!! wuhooo!! totally awesome! i nk keje..huhu..k. Now.. im joinin venture w my aunt in running a business.. im sure i can do it! n go far!! fuh.. i just can smell it coming.. yum2! heks.

AIM:

1) I want to 2 b e 1st youngest mly lady entreprenuer of my company or in any history!! xDD

2) PASSIVE INCOME

3) I 1 drive BMW

4) SHOP till i DROP

5) PASSIVE INCOME

6) PASSIVE INCOME

7) PASSIVE INCOME

8) PASSIVE INCOME

9) PASSIVE INCOME

10) MULTI x 5 MILLIONAIRE!!

Crisis again..

2009-11-25T00:24:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Seriously. i dont understand him. I agree w arwah. " Ure so unpedictable an !! "

We r fighting lyk NOW.

An: Abg miss pul

Me: Take me 2 epul. i 1 hs alamat

An:I dreamt of epul tadi..ngri..

Me: Wad did u dreamt abt?

An: We were fighting..killing each other.. aku tao aku break epul trust.Aku tk pena mtk dea trust

aku. Abg miss epul. And I know u need me to care of you

Me: Not a betrayer.. I can depend on my own. n i belif datz wad my sygg 1 2 if hes ard.i fyl safer.

An: Wat the fuck suria..he trusted me.. ako tk mintak dia trust ako..ako kalau nak pompan ako petik je la..ko da tk nk ako dah tk paksa ko agi pe. Ako cume concern.

Me: wtf an.da tao dea treat ko mcm adik sendiri beh ko mcm gni..haish.ure juz unpredictable an..

An: N ako selalu bhasakn ko,tpi sygnye ko tk phm.masa org tu idup ko maki hamun. ko kutuk,ko tk heran pasal dier. Org da mati aru ko nk step syg2.telambat eh

An: Ako unpredictable? Pompan yg unpredictable..i knw u say u tk ble.u tk nk..dlm hati nk rasa.abg cume care n concern tentang everything tat u would nd frm a man

An: Knape terdiam?ape ako ckp ada btol nyer.u dun even bother abt hm wen he ard.come on! Flashbck la..ko cermin alik sume!

Me:ape yg ko bhasakn aku tk phm? Gosh an..kalao aku tk concern pt arwah,knape aku sangop trn nuh sorg2 mcm pmpn glr crk 2 tmpt nk dpt kn dea?? Y wud i go 2 amk n crk uma aru dea! y wud i lyk gosh. no use talking nw dat itx over. . .I need a man lyk saiful. 2 b protected n equal under his arm.nt 2 b taken advantage n run over.

An:sbab thing over r ko pelu tany diri ko sndri, wen thing da over wat 4 u care.org idop tk kesah.dh tk ada everything nk tau.telambat suria.everything is too late

Me: gosh! wad do i haf 2 care siakk?? Epul hdop mati pon ttp nan aku!! Lyk helo?? Reflection?? Sape cermin sape??

Me: u r jux an outsydr. . wad i fyl 2wrds epul is juz btwn epul n maself.. Distance separate us apart bt neva was our love 2wds ech otha. dari ke matair pai la arwah.. hes e best guy dat i eva had.n 2 come 2 e point arwah ley pnjng umor lyk abg,im sure saiful n myself gona haf a happy fantastic marriage..every1 noes dat..itz juz time..oh gosh an..u duno hw it fyl..itz beyond words..

An: Ko r yg cermn n rflect..all u gave him is suffer..make him beg u 4 ur luv.dah tk ade,ko stepin hdop mati dier ngn ko..ko reflect alek..

Me: HE neva beg. Saiful is truly a gentlemen an.. U duno wad we wen thru.. 2 b precise,u dun noe wad/hw we felt 4 ech otha.. dala bro..NO ue rubbing all d. biarla adik sorg jek yg simpan pape yg telah berlaku dlm hubungan adk antare saiful..hes my eveything..biar laa..mmg da td jodoh adk nan epul pt dunie..mungkin di akhirat nanti..wallahuwalam..insyallah bang..

22 November 2009

2009-11-22T20:27:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Ok.. Sekejap kan..Niari da genap 2bulan arwah pergi.. Waduh.. Mcm2.. haa..i just wish everything would fall into places.. N i mean EVERYTINK cepat betol da 2bulan.. Mcm rase peristiwe nie sume happened lyk only yesterday.. oh boii..

The other day, i guess 2-3 weeks back. I went to Zamir's gathering.. Well2.. I must say, he change a lot! lyk totally a lot.. wahh..HOT! *melts* haha..

*shout-out to Zamir on 21 Novem* **Happy Bdae 2 u sweety!! **

I miss msg-ing w him.. after all dis dat keeps coming,we just stop contacting each other.. Lyk literally stop after i first started working @ dat bloddy gv plce.. And after which, he was practicing 4 his anugerah competition.. After dat, we totally stop...

OMG OMG OMG!!!! MY MR Independent da kawin!!! wahhh!! Mr Independent kawin tk jempot ur Miss Independent ehyk!! haha.. Ha... Mr independent mr independent.. ku doakan rumah tanggemu bersame emy akan berkekalan hingge ke anak cucu.. amin.. sweet2..citer lame.. hahaha.. Well.. Ur Miss Independent is fighting w her life. Fighting lyk a warrior 4 the better future 2 come..

Omg.. Mr independent.. wen i talked to you or zamir,everything seems to fall into place.. So peaceful.. tranquil..But more to zamir of course. :PP It was really2 nice noeing u as my mr independent.. u show me to the other side of the world. Really 1 BIG exposure 4 me. Thanks yeaa.. =))

As for Zamir.. AWESOME!! ha.. just wish i could bring back those time again.. The feeling of comfort,safe,peaceful & happiness is just there whenever you're around.. Awesome2 same feeling w you saiful.

Differences;

Saiful is Saiful.

Zamir is Zamir.

I just don't 1 2 lose e feelin..which i noe i have. I ought to treasure it when i supposed to..i miss you zamir.. Sily.. Oh ya.. Didnt i ever share wads sily mean?

Sily..

S-suria/saiful

i- i

l- love

y- you..

Thats was one of our words..ok2 fine.. It come from u ok saiful? hehe.. ok.. here i go talking 2 myself again..haha..sily2.. ha..i miss him tellin/callin me dat. Sily.. =') May you be blessed by allah swt.. Amin..

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.

Obession

2009-11-09T01:39:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Babyku.. i break dwn lagi u terpkir kn u... bie.. u ingat tk u ckp how u want our wedding 2 be? I break dwn u blr tgk auntie i nyer adk kawin tadik..cute. .e new-wed.e groom nyanyi kn dis romantic2 song n dedicate 2 his bride..omg..it was so touching,i teringat pt u.. haa.. how we planned on this.. e wedding theme..gosh..

Bie............................ an perangai............AGAIN..........bie...................................i missss u muchi2!!

Dis is insane.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me.

Already gone

2009-11-06T11:26:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Hmm.. aku rindu epul more den anything.. Its crazy 2 cry myself everynite in my sleep.. I cant take it.. Haishh.. How m i suppose 2 be lyk dis? I noe..im slowly beginnin 2 accept e fact dat hes already gone lyk 4eva.. im really2 taking a baby step..haa.. sighs..

Everything seems so wrong without him.. Im already half losing myself.. my academics drop lyk so drastically.. sucks.. it totally suck.. He used to be there 4 me all e time.omg..im crying.. goshh pwecious.. You go off just lyk dat.. So fast.. I cant take this pace..

I noe u wouldnt to see me lyk dis neither do u 1 me turn out to be lyk dis.. i tried ok saiful. i tried really2 hard.. but i cant help it each time i fall,it really hurt so badly n e impact is pretty HARD!

I didnt know u kept a diary which is all bout me.. Im surprised saiful.. To found out all the little things dat u made 4 me n just kept all 2 urself..

Bie.. mane alamat tanah perkuburan u bie.. knaper sume tknk blg i.. Lia tktao..nan an perangai mcm gni.. I cant reach farish n uncle..Y everything n everyone sume mcm gni.. Pwecious.. I miss all ur advise,encouragement,ur nag!! everything about YOU! Bie.. take me with you.. Why do you have to leave me lyk dis..omg..i just need you..

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me

To Where You Are

2009-10-23T20:55:00.004+08:00

Who can say for certain

Maybe you're still here

I feel you all around me

Your memory, so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You're still an inspiration

Can it be (?)

That you are mine

Forever love

you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant starI wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

isn't faith believing

All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

'Cause you are my

Forever love

Watching me from up above

I believe

That angels breathe

that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

I know you're there

A breath away not far

To where you are

"When You Say You Love Me"

2009-10-23T20:42:00.001+08:00

Like the sound of silence calling,

I hear your voice and suddenlyI'm falling, lost in a dream.

Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,You say those words and my heart stops beating.

I wonder what it means.

What could it be that comes over me?

At times I can't move.

At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside

When you say you love me

For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of

.I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.

You're where I belong.

And when you're with me if I close my eyes,

There are times I swear I feel like I can fly

For a moment in time.

Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,

And frozen in time,

Oh when you say those words

When you say you love me

The world goes still,so still inside

When you say you love me

For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]

And this journey that we're on.

How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.

when you say you love me,

That's all you have to say.

I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me

The world goes still, so still inside

When you say you love me

In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.

Do you know how I love you?

i hatee

2009-09-27T00:37:00.006+08:00

Haa.. Im breaking dwn... it hurt so badly.. knaper la aku teringt pt dea.. In dz tym,he will owaes console me..always b w me.. I miss him..I need him..:''( He sud b texting me .. Its so hard 4 me.. it really2 sux.. so cold n quite.. empty..

NOw dat ure gone..

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me..

Syed Muhd Saiful..

2009-09-22T02:15:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary..

Niari..22nd September 2009..1am.. Officially..Saiful da tgalkn aku..untuk selame-lamenyer.. :'''( aku kehlgan seseorg yg aku sesgt aku cintai dan kasihi..mule2 ibu..now him..ya allah.. Dis year has been really3 a challenging n tough year 4 me..mcm2 aku diuji..kawan,keluarge n saiful..haishh..4 a moment aku ingt aku n saiful ader peluang..4 a moment saiful berjaye menambat ati aku alek 4 ages dea cube..4 a moment aku terase saat2 aku bersame dea..4 a moment aku rase aku btl2 nk dea kembali..n now..dea tgalkn aku..aku tkle terime dgn pemergiaan dea..diam tanpe berite.. tibe2 mcm gni..saiful...:''( it really hurt to keep hurting u..haishh.. aku ingat lagi kate2 dea..all e poems.. knaper saiful uat suria mcm gni.. :'''( now.. i da tkder sape2 lgy 2 tell n share everytink n anythink w..no more me hearing bucuk2 muchi2 ranful n many more.. Bie.. sunyi bie..btl2 sunyi..now when everyone turn their back towards me.i da tkder tmpt g nk bergantong bie..i haf noone to turn to.. it hurt a lot pwecious.. u sorg yg btl2 knl i..secare zahir dan batin.. haiiiishh.. Lao i dpt penganti i tktao u.. U selalu dlm doa i.. I rindu u..I tk sangke u pergi dgn cpt u..our plans..e house..e rides..e holidays.. everytink.. All bout us kn? husby ingt dat song?? all e song dat we used to listen.hah..husby..aha..hiashhh..u la racun u la penawar i.. u.. tell me how 2 move on bie? I tao i blh..tpi susahh u.. 6 tahun u kte da knl..u tao kn? hw hard it is? Hw much u n i tried..n how much u n i keep coming back 2 ech other?? Its really impssible 4 us 2 b enemy kn?? e most jealousy..aha..cute. i loike e wae u feel jealous everytime d laki2 nk mtk knl2 nan i..ahha..i miss our gadoh over this.. how much u wud vent ur "anger" n sulked..n u juz cant helped it to pujok i alek..ahah..i miss all dat saiful..i reaally2 do..(if u were reading dis,i noe u wud b smiling lyk NOW n text me immediately n say weikz!! lolxs..haishh..nomre now) Now u n ibu tkder di sisi i..mcmner u? No more confess msges in e mid of 2-3am.no more cenyum2 n all dat..haishh saiful..u tell me how m i supposed to live my life?? Sailor n e sailing.. haissshh..

i tk pnh blg u date yg i tk pnh luper is 16,14,1 n now 22..how much i lyk 22 n it turned out 2 be diz bie..tradegy..Im really running into faded memories..U..i harap kite dpt bertemu di alam c2..u..tangisan bulan madu..mcmner cerite 2 mcm g2 la i rase tgh berlaku antare u n i..lyk how he treat his wife..is lyk exactly how ure treating me..pape pon keperitan hubungan kite nie..biarlah i simpan antare u dgn i.. I tktao u..susah..i miss everytink bout u..everytink lil things..haaa..saiful..knaper kite arus bertemu dan knper perpisahan kiter berakhir mcm gni? Seandainyer i dpt penganti..I wun fall 4 e bad guy..Nie kn u nk? u uro i jge2 ati2..biar dea jge i aik2 n u look frm far kn syg? dis is our promise kn? hiasshh..mcmner u..its so empty..i tktao lao i blh ker tk u.. i mtk maaf..maafkn segale kesalahan dan kesilapan i..halalkn mkn dan minum i..Ampun kn i saiful..I tk pena menyesal mengenali diri u..I bahagie teramat sgt.. Pemergiaan u btl2 sunyi..haishh..ya allah..

Moge roh u dicucuhi rahmat..Dan dekat disamping allah s.w.t..Ko akn sentiase didldm doaku..Assalamualaikum..

...

2009-09-15T21:42:00.004+08:00

*sigh* tempat nie la ku curahkn segala hasrat yg aku pendamkn.. Da lame tk update ehyk.. hidop2.. Saat nie. i just hope i can b by saiful syd.. Hes leaving me. Hes going..='( aku tkle bayang kn bagaimane raut wajah dea di saat nie.. Sume ader.. dorg tgh bce surah yassin.. Saiful tgh mengucap. .Ya allah.. Astafiruallazim.. Maaf kn aku.. Pemergiaan ibu,ayah n nw u.. AKu tk sanggop saiful. I miss ibu n u a lot. .Mase ibu meninggal,aku tk tao pape. .Haish ibu.. Suria da anggap ibu mcm ibu suria sendiri.. Suria syggg ibu.. Maafkan suria,hasrat ibu nk suria dan saiful hingge ke anak cucu tk kesampaian.. Ibu..Saiful is leaving me alone bu..Hes following you now bu.. It hurts me so much bu..I miss talking 2 u bu.. How much i 1 hu n kiss ur forehead ibu.. Su really miss u.. N nw,Saiful.. We all ne how much he has suffered.N hes 1 strong guy bu..

Suria tk pnh menyesal mengenal diri saiful.. Byk yg suria belajar dari dea.. iF he can live his lfe lyk other ppl,he will complete my life bu..Thanks ibu 4 giving me the second chance 2 b w him.. Suria tao cerite da lame berlalu. Suria tersentuh bu masih anggap suria as ur own daughter though suria halang pertunangan saiful dulu.. terime-kasih bu 4 everything.. I really love u lyk my own mother..I miss u 2 much bu.. I noe ibu tknk suria mcm gni.. Tapi suria rase soo hard 4 me 2 move on.. Now Saiful is leaving me.. Please dont take away saiful..Not now not till haish..

Ibu.. Saiful.. ayah.. ya allah..

2009-08-30T17:31:00.001+08:00

Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

Bertrand Russell

1 persinggahan

2009-06-25T05:01:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Hari ini adalah kali terakhir untuk kami sume.. ya allah.. Nie sume betol2 ade la 1 persinggahan bagi diriku.. Ku tidak sangke nie sume harus terjadi.. Namun ku akur dengan suratan illahi.. Seandainyer dea adalah jodoh ku,kau tabahkan la iman ku.. Kuatkan semangat ku untuk tempohi nie sume...Ku benar2 mohon pade mu agar kau berikan ku kekuatan..seandainyer aku insan yg begitu lemah dan jahil..kau maha mengetahui dan kau la maha memahami.. begitu perit bagiku jikalau ku terpaksa ulangi sume ini sekali lagi.. Ya allah, aku begitu pasrah.. Maafkan la ku.. Kuatkan la semangatku ini.. Seandainyer dea adalah bagiku.. Kau kuatkan la semangat ku..

Pade pertama kali kita bertemu..Aku tidak tahu mengape aku boleh terjatuh hati kepadenyer.. Haha.. This is sooo funny.. Yet irony.. adui.. Ku tidak ingin sejarah berulang berkali-kali lagi.. Hes sooo full of mystery.. Soo engima 2 me.. I hate it, on the irony,i PRETTY2 LOVE IT! HuNy2.. Ure soo complicated @ time.. I hate it.. But i LOVE iT.. I really do.. Tapi aku tak tahu la.. Kadang kale hatiku mcm sakit gitu.. Especially tadi biler, aku nampak gambar dea.. Mcm sweet xey..

aDUI.. ku kecewe.. Haish.. Ya allah.. aku betol2 tidak kesampaian hati untuk berbuat gini kepada si dia.. Kerana ku tahu betapa perit rasanya.. 1 tamparan bagi diriku.. Ku rase seperti maruah ku tercabar..Bagaikan satu hinaan bagi diriku.. Betapa jijik nyer ku rasakan diriku pabila ku melihat apa yg ku tak sepatot ketahui.. Sakit atiku.. Sekali lagi,ku hanya insan biasa.. Ku tak salahkan si dia.. Si dia tak buat sebarang kesilapan kepada diriku malahan aku yg patot meminta maaf kepadanya.. Seandainya kehadiran ku, kemungkinan dia telah berubah hati.. Ku tidak pasti.. 1 kedaifan bagi diriku dan dia.. This is sooo complicated

1 Thing for sure, i dont want to prolong this agony.. Neither do i want to be kept in the lurch.. I dont want to stay in the dark.. Well nobody wants its.. Its awefull to be hide by the shadow.. It really is.. I dont want that.. None of us does.. I know i deserve better if this is the way.. I know and i believe i deserve better..

"LoVe takes oFf maSk

tHat we feaR We canNot LiVe

withOuT& kNOw

We caNnot live withIN"

2009-06-15T00:14:00.005+08:00

Winter Moonlight

The snow, so peaceful and serene,caressed by the soft moonlight,gave magical feelings to the night.The soft blue glow,the lovers' words that then did flow,their lips closer and closeruntil, locked in the throesof a passionate embrace,he decided to express his feelings,to keep her safe.He whispered softly,his words like music to her ears,"I Love You,"and her response the same,heard like the gentle breeze,"And I, love you, forever."That was the night they promisedto be together through everything,each to care for the other when old and gray.A lovers' pactthe most likely to last.

- Krista J. Mikula -

. . .

2009-06-11T09:02:00.014+08:00

Dear Diary..
..

Its has been 4 2 daes since i withness the breathe-taking view of the night scene..gosh its so lovely..yesterday was the best..The sky,star n the full moon.. my2..finally i got 2 c it..Was hoping he wass der w me.. N wish there were a shooting star

Yesterday..i dont know what was w me..Suddenly my mind n soul wasnt @ ease.. Words eluded me. Felt it when i was working till i started weeping inside the bus.. Supposingly sud have gone home w em.. But i tld him i couldnt wait 4 me cux i wasnt feeling well..He look kinda dissapointed though.. If he only knew how i felt.. And then i weep.. My...i hate to feel dz way.. Occassionally it does happen to me.. But it seems that this year,ive encounter such feeling more than twice xey.. This is so simply insane.. My sentiments to be exact..ahah..

Faizal was sweet...despite the fact he know i was moody..He tried to cheer me up..haha..n wen i went 2 excuse myself,afta dat he asked haf u cried..hahh..concerned of him though.. n my cyg no1 2..xD

"LoVe takes oFf maSks tHat we feaR
We canNot LiVe withOuT
& kNOw
We caNnot live withIN."

Simply InSanity..

2009-06-08T02:08:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

This is crazy.. It is getting so dman crazy.. i missing him lyk so much.. Silly me. how can i fell aslp wen he msg me just now?? damN.. i miss him.. I hate of feeling this way.. Im so distracted.. But I LOIKE IT. .I hate itSi much though. I love it even more.. hahak.. This is so simply insane!! xD

The other night, we sat and i was mesmerised by the view.. The sky,stars and e moon.. gosh.. Its sooo lovely.. He was next to me.. haaa.. Told him how i wish it was a full moon instead..wouldnt it be just perfect..Haha.. He laughed said count down for e next 15 daes..Imagine if i got to withness the view again.but with a full moon of cux. .It will be all just little too perfect.. heks.. Stop it HuNy.. DOnt overboard..

Take it slow. .RESIST.CONTROL.ENDURE.. U can do it!! JY2!! haha. .Itz true wad huda sae.. N i got to agree;
~~.CRUSH.LOVE.AFFECTION.~~

Dont wish to add pressure to it.. It will just worsen the outcome. So HUNY!!Juz relax n BREATHE.. haha. .Cant wait 4 him 2 come back! xD

LOTSA L♥Ve,
HuNy

"LoVe takes oFf maSks tHat we feaR
We canNot LiVe withOuT
& kNOw
We caNnot live withIN."

The Meaning

2009-06-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

- Kellie Spehn -

Changes..

2009-06-07T03:01:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

Itz late i noe..i dont know wh m i still WIDE awake at this timing.. GOsh.. Erm.. U noe lately ive been coming back home late. .Well.. Pretty2 late i shall say.. Spend tym with him n em.. Hahas.its crazy. like seriously! N excuse me. Neva get back home till 430 am in the morning! itz was insane! Get back home,talked to him on the phone awhile. Afta that STRAIGHT went for a shower anD headed straight to school.. imagine how sleepy i was.. had a cup of coffee(black coffee) and red bull 4 just in-case purpose.heks.xP

It didnt stop there though. After school,met him! again! hahaha. he sooo CUTE!! cant believe that he watched me sleep when he suppose to do his work!! I was lyk super shocked when i woke up, he was staring n smiling @ me.. The way he smile.. *melts* heks. . I like it. The way he dot dot dot.. hahaha.xP N I MISS HIM!!!

He supposed to call me.He say he would.=( i waiting for his call. Well, looks like he is not gona called. Bet he was all too tired from yesterday.. Itz ok.. I understand.. Poor him.. Oh ya!! Did i told you that he actually bought for me lunch just now??!! I was SUPER SURPRISED! hahaha. But swwwweeettt n thoughtful of him! *loVe* dot dot dot. xP

The first time that we talked. The first time that we went home together. The first time that we met. The first time we haaa.. Its so nice.. Well initially,this is just the beginning.. Or slalu ckp baru2 sume nyer indah.. Nanti da lame2 aru kite tao.. well.. Huny not sure. Huny so CONFUSED!!

OK nak tahu naper? Bpa Huny da tawa ati.. Lao dea betol2 nak serious nan Huny..Den i will just wait. Wait for the time. Let nature take its course. . Ergh.. T dea going for a Holiday trip.. Im sooooo looking forward for the day that he come back frm his trip. . Cux frm there,then im positive that i will noe what he/"us" really mean.. Is he like the other soul or ...? Seriously i dont have any clue. .N seriously im soooo losing my self-esteem in bgr thingy.. Im afraid of falling again.. Itz thwarting..I dont wish to fall again.. Blue after we part..U noe that kind of feeling dont you? Im sure you do.. *sigh*

Only allah s.w.t saje yg tao isi ati aku ini..Bisikan disanubari ku.. Seandainyer dea la maha adil lagi maha memahami.. Kuatkan la iman ku.. Berikan la ku kekuatan untuk tempohi sume ini ya allah..Ku mohon.. Amin..

Lotsa L♥Ve,
HuNy

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Speak of the heart

2009-06-01T14:59:00.002+08:00

Hur..i miss him.. i dont y..this is SOOO killing me..argh.i hate 2 feel this way..keep me hanging.. I hate it BUT i love it.haha! it sound complicated. but i juz love it.This is soo me!!heks. . If he know how 2 play his game n lodge his card well, he might just take me away..weeee!!!Keep me guessing n coming back 4 more. I LOIKE!!! hahah..

BUT then again.. Im so SICK N TIRED of getting hurt over n over AGAIN!! mcm da tkder harapan gitu... But i feel something is missing.. i dont know what it is..but it just feel something is missing.. N i can sense something great is gonna happen 2 me.. I dont know what exactly it is.But i just have the feeling that "he" is nearby..If only i met him.he will be e 1 dat abah tld me.. erhhhh...e guy dat ive been waitin n longing 4!!! sape ehyk! Huny lyk so confused rite now.. gosh. .

" Behind my smile is a hurting heart.Behind my laugh,Im falling apart.Look closely at me and you will see,the person I am.. isnt me..Im longing 4 his presence.."

"Life was Beautiful tHen
I rememBeR that tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS
lET THE MEMORY LIVE AGAIN..."

MORON BITCH WANTED!!

2009-05-12T19:29:00.008+08:00

Dear Diary,

Here I go again.updating maself again..Well life is great.wonderful. i miss e MORON BITCHES A LOT sia! GUYZ!!! Really2 miss u guys so much!!!

♥Kumar Bitch aKa sing kae bitch!!!♥
♥ Suki Bitch aKa mother Bitch♥
♥ Vanny Bitch aKa bitchy Bitch♥
♥ Estee Bitch aKa moron bitch♥
♥ Ram BitCh aKa barney bitcH xP♥
♥Kim Bitch aKa Kimchi Bitch♥
♥Shu Qun Bitch aKa moRon Bitch♥
♥Wee ling *itch aKa gd *ItcH♥
♥Wei Jun *itch aKa Mrs **ua xP ♥
♥Janice Bitch aKa Uninmotivated Bitch♥
♥Jing Ru Bitch aKa Cutey Bitch♥
♥ Eileen aKa Rich Bitch♥
♥ NickY aKa Smart BitCh♥
♥ PKumaR aKa Actor BitcH♥

When we were sec.3.heks

er...miss all of em a lot xey..=( well basically.i go by RANDOM.. so GUYZ..dont feel offended or watsoeva ok? LotSa ♥ E laughter,tears n joy dat we shared. .And DEFINITELY BILLY BANJAA..! Bdae CeLeBratIoN!! gosh.miss u guyz so muCh!!!!!!

Hopefully,life get even better to all of u guyz..Here wishing all of bestest best of luck n success in many2 years to come.. Hopefully we cold meet up again.GO CELEB e uPCOMING BDAES!! WEI JUN,KUMAR,VANNY!!!! Lyk finally u guyz r gona b 18. hahah. Welcome to e LEGAL, club. (=.=") lolxs.

Got to go!!

LotSa L♥vE,
HuNy

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Keep me going..

2009-03-20T21:00:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

It surely has been a long time since i have update myself-my life. well.. It is sure very tough n challenging for me. .Im really lost.Hanging,caught up in between of what they called it, fate and hope.I went through the events of the day again,hoping against hope that the situation was not as bad as it had happened.My disappointment was undesirable.I was absolutely inconsolable.My sadness soon evolved to hatred. .As I slowly slipped myself into obscurity..Im losing grip. Im losing myself..

*IM Breaking DOWN MUHD FAHMI DANIAL*

Just how could you do this to me? So suddenly you went off just like that? I would accept the fact that you might be going back with your X..Live it. Be happy with her. Not going silent and msgins my very own bestfrien.behind my back. And you bitch! JUst how could you do this to me? Despite the fact you know how HALF DEAD CRAZY m i falling hard for him?? GOSH!

Fahmi.. I really miss you. It hurt so badly to think about the past. How you swept my feet away.. I didnt give in to you on purpose. I just cant figure out how you stole my heart.. IN silence, im falling for you. Your smile, your joke and simply you. The way you touches me just by singing.. This is really crazy.. Aint you're such a great-kisser..er..U just lift me up.Heavenly... *tears*

My mind could not erase all that. I know i will be able to do it someday.I will go through the storms.Im sure i will.But for now.its crazy.. Though it was for awhile.GOsh.it was really ultimately heavenly.. Love that is real but in disguised..I dont how to stop feeling this way.And i hate it. Hate for believing in you Fahmi. I really do.You know. If one day,by any chance that you happen to read this blog again,i would like to dedicate this song for you. And I would like to let you know.Now.This moment, i can let you know that, how i envy her,your girlfirend.If only i was her. But it ok.I can keep up and move on.Its really pleasure to know you Fahmi.It really does.Be happy with her..

Katy Perry-Thinking of you

Rihanna-Cry

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Wad lay ahead of my future..

2009-01-27T21:52:00.020+08:00

Dear Diary,

Well..Lets jus take it that im single.not offical.but i consider myself as single.. We have not been in contact 4 3 daes..so lets just put an end to it.aiya..i myself dont know why..guess..our rhsp dont seem to be heading anywhere..how i wish i cud just make all this stop..hur...ideal rhsp..we sud love ech other even more ech dae..n our bond gets even closer..haa..miss those chemistry close bonding n feelings all w my previous rhsp..its nice..we tend to share.care even more 4 ech other..both are devoted 2 ech other..u noe dat kind of feeling..mutual needs.. goshh..doesnt mean hs quiet hs not speaking..i miss all that..but i just dont feel that way w wan..haish..it need 2 hand 2 clap doesnt it? I dont wish 2 dream on a false hope.wait 4 him 2 change..waiting 4 him is lyk waiting in a drought.useless n dissapointing.. haha..mcm pena dengar kn.lol..

Saiful... i received ur letter..shall waet 4 u 2 give me MY STUFF! lolxs..

Gota move on suria. .Got to be strong..I noe i can..

Muhd FahMy DanIaL..

aw..swity heart pie!!
haha..taDa! This guy..guess he ~~.....~~..gosh..i think ~~....~~
~~*blush*~~
You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention

Cuz you send me flowers, when there's no occasion
Yeah we talk for hours, you still wanna listen
Won't hold it against me if I just need you to hold me tonight
My mother always told me that you'd show up one day
So scared to feel this way but love, I think I'm ready

Our shadOw..nice tak?heh..

1st RefLecTioN

2nd ReflectioN..while he was bz lookinG 4 e right sHoe..haha

his my cutest accident.xP

Over @ maRina Barrage..
"

we had our own fUn!xP

Lastly @ e end of our date...

pS..Hope it cud get beta.. xOxo..

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"
.

Heartbreak

2009-01-21T16:25:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday we went for a date. @ 1st wen i saw him,i dont why i was all so frustrated and full of anger.i juz haf e strong urge 2 force him 2 tell me e truth.i was dissapointed.its really2 thwarted.. how could he do this to me? how could he fornicate w dat gal yet he can still remain calm n hold my hands n say he loved me n all?? How could him?? haish.. im sooo hurt.

Losing him, is never what i could thought off. .we went pS..it reminded me of our secind date that we went. e cinema.everything.. .i just miss n need him. e real munirwan dat i used to know n have. not this cruel cold guy dat im with. i really2 do misses e tym wen he is just himself..haish.. Wan.. how could you do such a thing to me? Y wouldn't you just let me go? Let me be free from all this? Why do you have to enter in my life in the first place?? why? It was really nice to have you as my guy. Before that girl step into our relationship.why did you go to her? So as you could have sex w her? Is dat the reason why you go to her? Because you could fornicate her all day long?? Y couldnt you respect my decision n just stay n wait?? Just because shes 2-3years younger then you? Age gap is smaller compared to me? Im still "fresh" n "narrow-minded"? That is why you decided to this to me?

I understand if you leave me for that. BUT i CAN'T accept the fact y u have another gal BEHIND MY BACK!
haish.. i shall continue again.. ive got to go for now. .

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Beautiful liar

2009-01-19T12:31:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

I cant stand it nimore.. ITz so hurting meeeee........arghh...im crying this pain. no1 cud undstnd n tell my pain.*sob2* hm.. how cud he ACT as if nothing as happened?? How cud u do dos cover-up? wads dat dey called it, conspiracy.

U act. really put up an feign infront of me sudnt picture of guilt sud be written all over your face ironically ??but u dont. u seems to remain calm. pretending dat all dz is my fault. im down.der u are standing strong beneath me. . u tink ure so right and i dont the truth! E WHOLE AGONY OF TRUTH. .wad e heck. u pretend.Pretending. Listen. u Dont know how 2 lodge ur card well. .U dont noe ur game.Trying 2 put me as e victim.While u n dat slut were havin FUN behind my back. Fonicating ech other. OMG.lyk OMG. Dont tink i dont notice e changes in you wan. .Doesnt mean im quite, im not watching vigilantly..ure my guy.how cud i not notices? u thought i would cry lay down n die. .e knife is behind you.it take one 1 know one wan. . For now,i just play foolish along w ur game. .haha. .u'll come back 2 me.im sure u will.

Till e time shes done w you. dont u come crying begging 2 me. .by that tym, itz ur turn 2 play my game. or perhaps @ dat tym i shall drive e gear. C if u cud keep up w me n take all e pain.supress it deep within ur heart n soul..do some soul-searching could you? im already as hurt..to add insult to my injury, u go on w her despite e fact she noe dat ure attached w ME.wads ur motive of doing this?? Is it FUN? dasar anak PLAYBOY

Just lyk Mrs Doris Lee said,"TIme will heal my child". N yes its true. Im healing n picking maself up thru dz sticky mess. .wait till e tym u begin sobbing helplessly as you stood uncomfortably,words elude you. .it promised to be a beautiful disaster for you.. haishh..

For wadeva it is,im not going back 2 you. I had enuf. Enduring and patient. .Forgive me my dear if someday, i were 2 b as cruel as you. U started e game. This is not I wanted from e beginning n this is not i how i wished 2 end either.. Wish you all e best w ur loved one. DO remember that,

You leave me for someone you like
Belief me dat sumday
SHE will ~~"stay"~~ YOU for someone she love.

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Everytink look so cleann

2009-01-09T23:32:00.001+08:00

Dear diary..

Itz sure has been a very2 long tym since e laz tym i update maself w dz cyber world.. well tings have been a whole new world 4 me. Nightlife. wan. i tot i knew hym. im crashing. really crashing. i cant beleive u wud do such a ting 2 me. . juz hw cud u. nw. IM waiting 4 dat very dae. e confession. e story abt u. e real u. ahh.. if only u wud undstand hw i feel n read me lyk a book juz lyk hym. saiful. i guess he might be reading dz..

2 SaiFuL: Im sorry i didnt reply 2 all of ur msges.. im 2 caught up w all dz rite nw.. 4 now lets juz remain dz waeee....

juz how cud he do diz..how cud he HAVE E HEART 2.. tkper2.i will let dz tings all dis happen. n wait 4 dat very moment 2 happen. i got 2 b strong.he will cum back 2 me juz lyk all of em. y do dey start 2 appericiate n treasure me wen im no longer theirs? oh well.. i guess. its fated 4 me 2 meet em 1st b4 i got e real hym. =)
lyk muz said," U got 2 go through all e rotten apples 2 get e perfect apple which is rite @ e top of e tree" well.. i guess i got 2 agree.. itz beta 4 me 2 get hurt nw or ltr. i shall be strong. i must haf a clear conciouss..

ok finally he text me..sumtym i juz wana shout. or probably im shoutin n crying insyd but nobody listen. including hym. well i dont.i guess. lust? lolx. but i really2 love e helmet dat he gave me. e hugggsss make me wear hz clothes wen im cold..i miss dos tym bck in dos daes. .wen we witness e mesmerized scenery over @ marina barrage.itz jux omg 2 me. well.. i will be thinking of hym n dat moment weneva i go 2 marina barrage. its so wonderful.everytink was so perfect. how i wish i cud juz freeze e tym n not let all dz cuming ting 2 happen in e future. . haiz..yang2.. how cud u.. ='(

i gota 2 b strong. . once lyk asyik(ma ex),:" dea gendang kite tari,kite gendang entah dea blh tari ke tk t.." haha.. asyik2.. oh hw mch i misses u! lolxs. among all my ex, e only n only 1 dat i really2 1 2 meet is hym. as 4 saiful i finally had e chance 2 c hym.even though we didnt had e chance 2 tok. .finally my heart n mind is @ ease. 2 had e chance 2 catch e glimpse of hym. .even it was for 3secs.. im finally sastisfied. =') thnks 4 listenin 2 my prayer my beloved allah swt. .it really peaceful 4 me now..finally after 4 so long i waited. .

i got 2 b strong n face all dz.no matter wad. .

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen
I remember tHat tiMe
I knew wHat waS
HAPPINESS..
Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

unexpectedly.

2008-06-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

Hey der yat.itx been awhile seen im g0nd rite.hahakx.well.im hre 2 update maself m0re 2 u.

ok.first ting first.sumhw.me n epul.well3.yeah u guessed it!hahahkx.n im meeting hym tmr!!wish me k?wel.nw epul haf changed th0ugh.he tend 2 make e iNitiative 2 ask abt e meetings.wel.tings btwn hym n parent,i jux h0pe dey wil b lyk laz tym.i pity hym.so mch dat he haf 2 go thru. Hz parent,me,job n many2 mre.i jux h0pe tings wil get beta.i realy do

2nd.an.hes such a big jerk ass.i hate hym 2 e c0re.seri0usly,i cn sue hym 4 sex harrasment!haish.i dun 1 2 tok abt hym.lets ab0rt it.hahakx.apart frm all,
*sh0ut-out 2 saiful:
SAIFUL!! Thankx 4 helpin me out.u n0e wad i meant.10q so mch yeah*

3rd.0k! 3 M0RE MTH 2 MY O LEVEL!! omg.tym reali fly so fast! Laz entry,it wx my n level.nw my o level.wel e stress is mch mre of cux.im so worry 4 it.omg.esply my math.wonder if i cn make it thru.n all my fwn 2.im realy2 wory.nxt ting u n0e,im sittin 4 my 0 paper in 3mre mth!agrh! Wish me all e very best yeah 2 get int0 p0lytechnique.best wishes. .

4th.solomon d0ra jr. Hahahkx.i dun 1 tok abt it.itx HISTORY 4 me.hahahakx.wateva la..idc.

wel gtg 4 nw.tc yeah.i shal update m0re if i haf e tym 2. .n wish evrytnk 2 go sm00thly 4 tmr n 2 pas my o level w great result!
Losta luf;-huNy-

Sot

2008-05-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

hmm.. sorry saiful. i din mean 2 lead us dz wae. all dz is so UNXPCTDLY. i duno. i juz hate all dz. ahh.. i JUZ DUN WANT ALL THIS RIGHT NOW. NOT EVEN U MOMON. I DUN WANT!!! I HATE it. im not ur TOYGAL BOIZ! i dun nyd all dz if u guyz r juz toyin w ma fylin. i hate it. i really hate 2 b treated dz wae. itz not fair ok. dz is not wad a lady nyd frm a guy. .

*shout 2 momoN*
ITs beta 2 loose a LOver den 2 LOVe a LOSER! ! !

well. itz juz my luck 2 get all dz. oh boi!

ToDay or rather shockinG

2008-05-06T21:51:00.006+08:00

Today wz my maths 2 n combined sci. hm.. paper wz ok however i noe dat im gona flung it pretty2 badly. forgo ma midyr. juz dun haf e mood 2 stay focus. probably im juz lukin 4wrd 4 e chalet.in meetin hym. spend tym w hym. but i guess itz not gona happen. i understand hw he fyl. i cant blame hym u noe. itz not hz fault niwae.. wateva hz decision he made, ill support,accpt it.he haf hz own reason.reasonable enuf. @lst we can communicate. n dats very gud isnt it?

ok stpo it. dz is e shockin part. omg.udpated hz frnstr. flow of chic.ah sot.. i damn sot.. viewed hz private photo. omg n dz is e photo i found.

any comment? pic tells a thousand word guyz.dz is so not helpin miee..

hm. now its seem more of scandalism for dz rhsp. ahh. sot. try puttin urslf in ma shoe. hw it fyl lyk? though dey r ur frens. luk wheres ur boundary mann. tinkin bck. i miss saiful. but i don 1 go bck 2 hym. enuf. though it not ez 4 me 2 erase hym of. sot.suria damn sot. i tot. ders is sumtink ~~NICE~~ in hym. but luk now. love? does he noe wad it min in e beggin? SCANDALISM. im dissapointd.

Izan.Muhammad Izan.sdp kn nmenyer? well. get 2 noe hym kt tm courts. he nice. handsme i muz same.basically hes e most nicest gentelmen i eva noe!! lyk seriously.we haf so much in common. baby april. haha. 28th april. sweet. hes super nice.totally. can tok 2 hym comfortably.u noe i juz haf e sense of secure in iz even we dono ech otha dat much. but hes nice.super solid nice compared 2 hym.ahh. jerk. i sot sia w hym. ahh.love. call dat luf? LUST la dey. SCANDALISM.

*Shout 2 saiFuL*
and if ur ready to be my everything, and if ur ready to see it through this time. and if ur ready for love then, this i will bring. but i'm not gonna wait for you forever this time

SURIA DAMN2 SOT LA. MISS SAIFUL. HATE ALL DIZ. I HATE IT 2 E HARD CORE!

Haaa..

2008-05-01T03:58:00.002+08:00

"LiFe waS Beautiful tHen

I remember tHat tiMe

I knew wHat waS

HAPPINESS..

Let tHe meMory LiVe aGaiN"

Haish.. tings btwn me n epul. over. i duno. im juz pissd off & dissapointd. all i 1 hym 2 do is juz 2 spent tym w me. dat is all im askin for. afta all dz waitin. 3yrs5mth 2 b xact. all i nyd hym is JUZ 2 SPEND tym w me. i dun ask hym 2 do all e drastic n sudden move.hiash. 1 afta another occured 2 us. seems dat i cant hold on much longer w hym. haish. i duno. if u love sum1 juz set it free. it it neva came back 2 u,it wz neva urs 2 begin w. rmbr dat suria? i do. i do. n now. tings btwn me n momon(hym) isnt juz seem rite. well. he told me he nyd some space. n im not sure wad hz reason wz. hes nice n everytink. i juz dun 1 2 pressurize hym anymore. let hym haf his own space 1st. afta dat. yeah. we will take tings frm der. hopefully. i miss e hym dat i used 2 noe. probably itz xam period n he juz nyd tym 4 hz own i guessd. hopefully its rite. n it seem dat hes much serious in hz wrk compared 2 me. sot suria. we r so in love.lalalala. baby love. e songs is so sweet.but i juz duno who 2 dedicate it to. i 1 hym 2 listen 2 it. but i guessd dn again. it might not be a good tym 4 now. n i really hope we cud mend tings up.

itz funny. he entered in my lfy. n ting changed so much.i guessd i wz distractd by e attention given 2 hym. e tym we spent in sch. all e lame jokes n laughter. if only haish. im tryin 2 move on here. itz not ez 4 me. now. ive made up my mind. if anytink unxpctd 2 occure 2 me. ill take it w an open arm. ive 2 fite all dz now dat hes gone. itz not gona b ez wouth hym. yeah. i will perserve. i hope he cud b my pillar of strength. juz gve hym tym 4 hymslf. haish. i hope tings wun get even messed up afta all dz. i juz 1 start anew i really do. itz crazy baby. i juz nyd u. n b der w u. itz is still in my mind, no matter wad,u wun let go off me. n we r stl together. oh boi. u make me go aww.

hope dz will b wad ive longed 4. insyallah..

HaiSh

2008-03-31T19:32:00.002+08:00

Ok 2dae is 31 March 'o8...

i sud b very3 happy 4 tmr. haish. itz jux not my dae again. fark. dz is so shyte.... arghh..

#1st: my fren r lyk so worried 4 me 4 my o. i noe dey mean it well. but tuition?? haisz.
dey duno hw mch i nyd it. itz lyk if ONLY MY FAMILY CAN AFFORDD 2 la. i dun blame
em though. haiShh... nobody undstd hw i fyl. *teaRs*
#2nd: I had 2 redo my proposal wRiting. cum on. i tot we had 2 do a draft. end up. haish. fark.
#3rd: Dz is lyk e WORST eva. PARADE WZ LYK ARGHHHH.... HE WZ LYK KILLIN ME AWY!!
Is he puttin a test on mie? suX. y do u haf 2 b so cold 2wds me? isit wrng?? wADZ w u
maNN.. im ENDURING YET im breaKin insYd!! My baCk hUrtS eVeN sOOo MuCh aiTex!
#4th: i had 2 payout Xtra bus fare. fark la. im lyk wearin my sch uni?? properly. n she ask me 2
pay 90cents? omg. she even dare 2 sae actly mx count by distance. wahh..SOT LYK
TOTALLY!!!

it is jux not my dae. haish... wad a dae. wad dae 4 mie 2 be put on a such scale. haiShh...

im crying n shoutin yet nobody hear me out not even hym..haiShh..

hw swit is dz..

Jux gO awY.

LeaVe Me & moVe oN.......

Sian

2008-02-22T20:41:00.002+08:00

OK..im so tired.. argh..my back is really hurting mie.. haish.. thanks vanny n kim 4 e gift!!! i love it sooo much!!! Its so useful lar..

My bdae? well.. seriously, i did not enjoy it. (can u belif it on ur 17th bdae?) omg. argh.. how hopin faisal wud wish me.but he din. well.. get lost den. shall erase u awy frm my fren list. im bad? i noe. aaaahhh... sian la.. im tired mann..damn my back is killing mie..

ok..ting w saiful is ok.gud. but im juz hopin 2 myt hym. . tmr im workin.sian. i dun fyl lyk worikn nimre. serious sia.its 2 tiring larr.. den tmr frm 12:30 all e wae 2 closing..boohoo.. i tink my salary din hit their target i guess dats y dey lyk streching my tym..WATEVA! ill shall reconsider of workin.. sud i quit my job asap?or sud i waet till my contract over? lyk by e end of march?? argh.. decision ive 2 make..

I wana go out!!! i wana hang OUT!!! @ clarke quay? esplande? well.. niwhere dat is peacefull.. i tink im stress.. ahah..im 2 tired i guess?? idk..n i hate my mother tongue lesson. i will b ditched!!! i hate rejection rmbr??

Huny Outz..

Clz Call...

....=.='''....

2008-02-12T13:06:00.000+08:00

Not schling...yeah.nyd e rest badly.. im sick.(not fever or wad)..omg..haf 2 go 4 checkup again on nxt tues??!! on 19th Feb???!! omg. valentine got chingay practice???!!! omg.. wth!!! wad a brillant plan!! thanks!!! Dis is so ~~HELPING~~ mie!!! argh..

i wast surprised we did not met. again. i noe. haishhh.. i lost my faith n hope. sian. dun 1 tok abt it.*my lip r sealed*

i wz told i dat i got infection on e backbone.so no wonder my back is owaes aching.not i can harldy move ard dat much. (dah mcm org tue g2 la kn)..so muz go 4 e nxt chckup on 19 FEB!!! wad a plan suria.. dis is so hartbreaking. nvm.let it go gal. its painful i noe.

Huny outz...

...Clz Call...

Yum2!!!

2008-02-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

iM CRAVIN 4 CHOC & RAISINS & HYM!!! lol.xs..im sooo luking 4wrd 2 valentine!! ahahaha.. idk. even got no plan(i miss e yet.) i juz luf 2 c how diff ppl celebrate valentine. sadly faisal is so not luking 4wrd 4 it. lol.ok stop dun 1 agrue w hym again n again.ok lets go catch e new movie. "jumpers" e korean guy (jae min) said it is a nice show. well its a bin a while since i pampered myslf w all diz.. hmm.. do dey lyk haf any better show on valentine?? hello.. its valentine??!!

OK..e day is drawing nearer.. m meeting IBU & SAIFUL!!! OMG! i wonder wad que ibu gona ask mie.. tinkin abt ibu,i seriously m ~~HAPPY~~ lolxs.. im lukin 4wrd 2 it though.lolxs..
well.. chingay practice wz great.fun!! ahahaha..had great tym laufin over @ my mistakes!!! lolxs.. but e t-shirt not nicee compard 2 last year..grrr...

wel..i gtg..im STARVING!!!! wana eat my dinner.. (@ diz tym? i noe.)lolxs..

Huny outz..

Clz Call...

Hm..

2008-02-02T13:38:00.000+08:00

Ok.. 2dae got chingay rehersal.. hopefully.. it go smoothly..not workin 2dae n tmr.. guess wad? valentine is cuming!! & so does our anny n my bdae!! hopefully he do not haf 2 go 4 reservist AGAIN!! as u can c. Feb is very special month 4 me. Every 1 celebrate valentine don't day? b it single or attached. im sooo luking 4wrd it n 11th feb 2!! well... go to for now.. update more soon!!

Huny Outz

Call Clz..

HecTic

2008-01-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

*strech2* omg... its soooo tiring man...spent a lot of time to update everything. Got a lot of plaaning 2 do 2 my schedule. wad time 2 work and stuff.. baby sundae im goin oit. wana go 4 a date baby?? i got CIP thingy 2 attend to.. And m 1 of the organiser of the community.. Hm.. i miss hym. i miss my peer leader so much. u noe, luking @ e sec 1 orentation camp thingy.. i miss getting together n historical w my peer leaders.( esply frm my batch!!!) all of the crap n laughter..haha..boi.. do miss em all.. ech n every of em.

2 b frank, i still cant remember my junior name(b it PL & Sjab). Some only. Surprisingly,they noe mine. Even though some of them are form the CL.. n escply the newbie of the peer leader last yr. which min juz after my batch step down. hi suria. hi kak suria. i wz lyk ooo hi!! heelllo?? hahahakxs.. sorry lar..i dont mean to be rude.but come on it fyl 1 kind when ppl noe u n u duno em! which min,IM POPULAR!! wuhahahaha.. bluekk!!

soo baby... how do u find my new updates?? Is is alrite? hm... huny, i miss u badly.. Ive tried 2 msg u thru e weeby thingy. but FAILED!!! wth! if not till now i can chat w u till i drop!! haish.. i miss him. and talking abt him. It remind of this slut incident. can u image dis. ok let start w a new para

the other dae, i cant get thru hym till late nite. n of coz he make me soo panick n werry.. Usually if dis incident happens,i will msg an 2 ask abt his where abt. So i did ir twice. After a few moment, epul reply all of my msg. relief me. And i wz lyk telling maself dat an is so not helping me. but its ok.. and after a while, i doze off cuz i wz fyling tired. so e next morning i woke up, i received 2 msg frm an. And this is where it start.

Its so obvious jts dat lia. wth. i cant stand it wen i read diz sentence. uro epul rolling aku biar aku jage dye. farking bitch kn!!! Is she aware dat the guy dat she is refering to wz my guy?? u bitch. n dont she noe she hurt an's fyling 2? lyk i duno an. epul wz all calm. omg. slut. whore!! and an apologise her behaviour on behalf. omg an. nvm its ok. juz mind her manner. slut. argghh.. wateva. it juz frustrates me every tym i tink sbt it. n he does not lyk it wen i msg hym. I noe.i undstd ur fyling k bb.. im sory.. juz 2 tell him e truth. n its really his decision if he chse 2 take or leave it. cuz i dun 1 any spark btwn us juz bcuz another "angel".omg. i cant believe she lyk dat type. 1st wen pul mention her name. my 1st impression wz. wow..nice name so her character will b all gud dats y ibu usd 2 recommd her 2 pul. But after dz whole ting happn. im glad i go bck 2 hm! i really lost my hope 2 patch bck wen i wz tld dat dey will b match make n all dat stuff.. but wateva. nw i juz luf hym. yes i do.

u noe. i juz got dz fyling dat she still1 hym. im a girl. n girl tends 2 feel n share e same feeling. try puting maself in her shoe. dey nearly go 4 engagement n suddly i came in btwn em. n of cuz it hurt so diply if u haf e feeling 2wds ur wannabe. dat in her wae of luking @ e pic. as for me. it will b her who is e 1 dat came in btwn us. but hey. we make it. so e point dat im trying 2 convey is, i fyl dat the gerl stil haf e fyling 2wds hym. dats y she dun mind letting her pride down 2 sae such wrds.rolling aku. omg.kiamat sudah dekat.hahaha.. but wateva it is. i plant dz saein 2 maself. u mae try 2 win his attetion 2 divert 2 u. bt u can neva win his whole heart n luf fully.. i noe.i juz noe. i noe my guy so much. he wont. trust my instinct. he juz dun bother w other girl hu try 2 crave 4 hz attention!! hahha.xpct 4 me!! bluek! ya its true. hahha

i miss hym.. bb..do tc k syg..luf u so much..muackss

HuNy Outz..Clz Call..

Sch lyf..

2008-01-04T21:11:00.000+08:00

"Life was beautiful theN

I remember tHat TIME

I know wHat was

HAPPINESS

Let the memory liVe aGain.."

OK.. Afta 4 soo long @ last im updating my blog entry... bin very bz lately eva since the dae i started working.. Well, truth is the working hour n everything is not tiring. Just that tiring of waiting for the customer to come & time 2 pass by.. It lyk over there,u will fyl every min of the time.But its fun though. Had a great tym. only if there's senior or its just not my dae,i fyl soo sian la.. But since now im schooling..BIn very bz.. esply 4 diz past 3 daes. even though im not involved in the sec1 orientation(SJAB xclude) but e junior (my peer leaders) nyd my coaching n help.So since im their senior,juz came 2 help em. (only on the 2nd dae). Ok la. Sec 1 wz lyk so dead.. till i add sum magic powder on em.DEY WERE FUH!!! lolxs.(xpct 4 dat guy 2 cum but din.wth faisal!)

Ok. LEts tok about my result. e dae came. I wz lyk soo nervous.. i wz lyk soo getting prepared 4 my result.( 2 go to ite) . N my teaher called me.Suria. omg.. my hart wz pumping so fast after seeing the batch's result. it lyk so suck lar. Many ppl cant make it 2 sec 5. so i presumed i wz 1 of em. Try 2 control my EMOTIONS..lolxs.. As i step nearer 2wds Ms Lai,i jz smiled. N she ask 4 my sch fees's receipt. hahakxs.. 1st ting 1st i ask her were, " did i pass?" lolxs.. N she smiled. i wz so lyk RELIEF!!! hahahaha.. den ask agn. so many question till ma clsmate were telling me dat im e only 1 who tke up e longest tym..hahaha.. So now. IM NOT PREPARED MASELF 2 GO SEC5.But wateva it is, i will do my very best 2 give all i can 2wds my study.. jyjy!!

N 2dae.. SUCK!!! sooo biases sia. wth..WTH!!! everything wz soo politics. n full of COMMUNISM!! UNCIVILIES. hmm.. its soo obvious la. can c. we r separated into 2 diff grp. im so lyk.this is not helping.. omg..tk phm2!! haish.. hopefully dis wun effect our study.. seriously.. haish.. had a request frm sum1.. i haf 2 go 4 officer course.. omg..sud i? i not sure leh..part of me 1 n e other is lyk no. but mama sae go 4 it. Dz might b a gud opportunity 4 me. moreover afta dz, i 1 2 go 2 nursing.so dat y. she sae it will benefit me 1 wae or another. hmm.. i duno la. but wad i 1 rite now is 2 stay focus 4 my study.. i 1 score for my o level juz lyk my n level. but much beta result. hopefully dz tym i an get 6 credits juz lyk my n. insyallah.. im willing to work hard n smart. JYJY!! muz got e determination n perseverance.

wad ive taken frm my obs camp wz. Haf faith n peserverance n u will make it thru. muaacks. a winner neva quit n a quiter neva win.. Failure is the part n parcel of success.. Trying n determination is the key 2 success.. e successful man will profit frm his mistake and try again in a diff wae..ur attitude determines ur action. ur action deterimines ur accomplishment..

*ms u babe*-HuNy OutZ-Clz Call..

IM hurt!!

2007-12-31T12:34:00.000+08:00

Saiful im hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perfection In My Eye

2007-12-15T18:11:00.001+08:00

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,

And for us to be together, to never be apart.
No one else in the world can even compare,

You're perfect and so is this love that we share.
We have so much more than I ever thought we would,

I love you more than I ever thought I could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,

I'll do anything for you as long as I live.
In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,

By the way you look at me I know we will last.
I hope that one day you'll come to realize,

How perfect you are when seen through my eyes

adapted by Kamal..

Huny outZ..Close Call..

Wad a dae... haishh

2007-12-13T19:17:00.000+08:00

ok..2 dae is sooo suck..freaking suck.. fought w my mum n neva tok 2 her all daE!! wth!! gud ting im werking la kn.. @lst cn "escape" frm all of her nagging n chatters.. haish..im sad..pretty sad.. itz not fair.. i dun lyk it.i HATE IT!! i guess its beta 4 me 2 shut maself up den tellin off her mistake.. but dun stop me if im goin out w ma boi. If u do..it wuD b totally UNFAIR!!

grr... totally.. cn rmbr e incdnt dat i slip n fall.. she dun care! she juz laugh n said dat im soo weak so lembek lar..but dad show hz concern 2wds me. he wz all serious wen i told hym dat i fell in e toilet it touches me wen he apply ointment 4 me wen i hurt maself bck in e toilet. . hais.. sumtym i jz nyd her concern..but she jz love 2 throw her tantrum n stuff @ me..not fair.Not FAIR @ all.. fine!!! FINE W UR DECISION OK!! Sumtym.. i do fyl dat dad luf me mre den mum does.. even though she e 1 dat i used 2 share everyting.. not everything.. but @lst wateva.. im tired. SHe juz luf 2 gve me e cold look.

everytym i go out w ma frens..ill b lock outsyd even though i reachd b4 10pm. its not fair. dey locked me out. i guess..it normal 4 me now..n noe wad. tink its great dey lock me out. cn b late as 12pm.cuz dey wun bother. hell yeah reachd hme @ 11 yesdae. had a great tym. initially,everyting seem so "right" wen i rch hme.. der it begin..mum n epul.. haishh.. now dz soo heartbreakin la..bie.. i noe u dun 1 me 2 wrk.. but..haishh..u wun undstd hw it fyl lyk stying @ hme.. mama cn b very3 mean u noe.. n it hurt me. i rather spnt my tym w u den w her weneva she lyk dz.. i hate it. i hate she doin dz 2 me.. :`[ fiNE!! if dat wad u decide!! FINE!!! ARGH!!!

HuNy outz.. Clz call..

STRESS

2007-12-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I miss u..i miss hym.. fyl soo sterile wouth him..his p8 is low.. shyte..so does mine.. argh.. each dae past n my result is drawing clser.. i heard is gona b on e 18 dec.. i desperately nyd accmpny.. baby..go w me cud u? u pmse me din u huny? dis is so nerve racking..got e feeling dat im not gona mke it 2 sec5. ive decide.. if i dun mke it.im gona take nursing course in ite. if possible, i 1 2 take higher nitec. gud thing e moe haf change e edu system so dat i wun waste my ite 2 go nitec. but only if i score 19 points n below. Hopefully i cud score below 19 points..

my baby put on a very high hope dat i cud mke it 2 sec5. but i dun 1 2. . im sooo sure dat im gona drop out half wae thru.im gona STRUGGLE lyk hell!! dun wish 2 c all e teachers. omg.. so many politics in e school.. so systematics.. lolxs.. O level gona b tough.. i noe..haish.. i 1 go ite. @ lst i will haf e experience in nursing wen i enter poly lyf..rather sufer now den later. hmm.. i noe he wud b very3 seriously upset if i cud not mke it 2 sec5 . baby.. i dun 1 2 haf a fail cert in my cert if im goin up 2 sec5. its really togh n strugglin 4 me.. Mr Ho is rite. Maeb ill do beta in ite. even though i hate him sooo much. but i do c e point in him. haish.. dis soOo not helpin me! argh!

Baby..go w me cud u.. 99% of me dat im gona flung my result n go 2 ite. 2.5% im gona fail it pretty badly n 2.5% im gona make it. but.. TOUCH WOOD X 8!! lolxs.. ! grow up 2 b a nurse. its in my blood. i guess.. my grandmama is a nurse. (she is still working as 1), my sister is a medic. nxt its gona b me.suria is a N.U.R.S.E.. lolxs.. i cant imagine dat. but seriously..i hope he wud mke himself free and acpmny me 2 tke my result.oh baby!! stand by me!! i sOooo nervous @ it dat i dun dare 2 luk @ it! i bet.e 1st ting i get my result,i'll check on my ENG. den my MATH.followed by my Combined HUman & Sci den my Malay lastly my POA. soo sure gona fail my POA & Maths!grr.. luking back @ my result 4 prelim..it really knocked me off!! i score soo horribly 4 my prelim. cn u imagine. i pass 2 sub! omg!! wu n 1 dat 2 happen 4 my N's result! choy!im soo stress 4 my prelim dat eventually i din score as wad i hoped it wud. sci i fail by few points. Human dat pull me ws my social.stupid.things got soo complicated in e source based questions. i cant understand.i applied e method e wae i was taught still i cud not score.. wen our teacher go thru em,n i sae it, she sae i wz all rite. but in theory,luk wad did she gave me. omg. totally HORRIBLE!

Science, physics pull me. i juz dun undstd em.2 make it worst i dun even revise it. lolxs.. dats was my biggest mistake 4 not taking e tym 2 revise. Maths? omg. H-O-P-E-L-E-S-S! lolxs.. but i dun undstd y my fren kip puttin hope on me dat i cud make it. seriously, dey really motivate me 2 do e very best even though dey noe i flung my result 4 e very FIRST TYM IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LYF!! seriously..usually i wud fail 3 e most since sec3. Now. its totally e OPPOSITE. hopefully my result will be e total OPPOSITE of my prelim!! GOD!! GUYZ!! PRAY 4 ME!! PLEASE!!

Let me add.. the other tym we quarrel. n badly,dat ting attacked me again after 4 soo long. i had 2 struggle. dat very moment i thought i ws gona die. seriously.i cant control it n i wz crying even harder. n dat wad make it even worst. my tears kip flushin down n my whole body ws aching all over. i wz frozen after e cold weather. totally breath taking. . Its not his fault seriously. I tink i ws 2 cold n it attacked me. Dat wz my worst attacked eva! (not asthma,shut up) i wz totally freak out n lossin my energy. i cnt even lift my headset properly.. Lolxs.. i e nd i fainted in my fantasy. Poor him. Sorry baby. Din mean 2 ditch u out syg. I love soo much..soo much n even more. muacks3..tings will get beta btwn us.trust me k? i love so much more. nyd u even more. How nice if u cud drive here @ dis very moments. Good thing u have a car now. It will b so covience 4 u 2 go around e bout.Its chilling isn't it? I noe. I feel it 2. Love u darl. Love u so much. Hopefully u cud accmpny me 2 take my result. Pray 4 me k huny. N u guyz 2. Love u owaes. Muackss

HuNy outs..Clz Call..

NITEMARE!!

2007-11-21T11:41:00.000+08:00

hm. .it so hartbreakin. .i cant belief itz happenin.. he said it..i juz cnt tink wisely. .omg. . wad is hapnin 2 us? lately,he bin very3 bz w hs wrk whereas,im jz chngd . .datz wad he sae. .hm. .if itz true,y cnt u b hre w me. .gve me tym 2 mke tings rite cud u bie?plx. .datz is all im askn..i 1 2 mke tings agn..haish..hpefuly we cud start tings new. .i chse u. .i nyd u evn mre pwecious. . [i.i] I REALLY DO!!FRM E BTM OF MY HART!!cum bck 2 mie. .plx. .i neva nyd u dz mch b4. .haish. .

I miss eUu lyk crazie..

2007-10-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

Erm.. I miss hym!!! He's gone 4 his reservist.. *sob2* I miss hym soo terribly much!! Baby!! I miss the tym u used to hold me in ur arms, e wae u kiss n hold me!!! HuR!!! Miss everything that u do 2 me.. I need u soo badly!! Hm... Meet me once u get bck hme!! I love u so much darlX..

Hm!! Now ure msgin me tellin me dat ure cold out der!! omg!! How pityful 2 hear dat!! If i cud juz gve u sum heat.. I miss u.. It do not feel right and comfortable 4 me when uren't ard!!! hur!! i miss u!!! Bie!! b bck hum soon!! totally nyd u!! :'[ haish..i miss u pwecious..miss u lyk crazie.. U got me going crazy..Do take gud care of urself k. Ill pray 4 u.. ILY baby!! muaccks..muaccks.. ly..

ArtisttippuS outZ..Clz Call..

What am I afraid of?

2007-10-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

I am afraid of facing a challenge, of being alone,of being rejected, of trying and then to fail,of doing my best and still be the last

However these are just the surface of my fears. What I am truly afraid of is not something or someone but that person who is me.

I am afraid of myself not because I find myself falling short and inadequate or that I am powerless and incapable.

I am afraid of myself because of the strenght and abilities that I already possess. For when they are unleashed,the light generated by them would shine so bright that it would even blind the sun.

I am afraid of what I can achieve when I apply myself to a task and when succeed I would become an inspiration to those around me.

I would no longer have to do anythings to show myself, simply by my presence alone I would lift up everyone else.

Lum Tang LIang

8th June 2006

Inspired be the movie

"Coach Carter"

Gettin 2 engross!!..

2007-10-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

"Life was Beautiful theN

I remembeR tHat Time

I kneW wHat waS

HAPPINESS

LEt tHe memOry liVe aGain ... "

Ouhk..It wz my science paper jz now..well it went smoothly.. i wz focusing really hard tryn not 2 get distracted.. I cant believe dat i said diz but seriously. The Physics paper wz mch easier den the chemistry paper.. WTH! Weird! Out of sudden i fyl lyk updating my blog again!! hahahakz.. this is my 2nd blog. e 1st wz lyk soo mch entries den dz! hw cud i jz 4get my email n pzwrds..Silly mie.. Hm..i miss all my xpress's frens..Miss dos tym wen we used 2 b soo hysterical..hahahkxs..

Well.. Ppl change u noe. (again i noe. im not whining but im jz xpressing myslf..not a crime rite?) ok..where was i. oh well.. We fought w dat bastard n bitch. I min its lyk dey were lyk soo rebellious g2. All thnks 2 dat guy la kteorg gni. But chill!! e both us is all fine. Jz get all frustrated w em. Dey r lyk soo enigma 2 me. .well i duno. Everytym i wana help,it alwaes turn out 2 b e opposite. haish.. But! 1 ting 4 sure.. Ders owaes a bounce n rebounce!! Every dog has its own day u noe!!

Luk, he eva punched n fought w epul. I jz kept myslf sealed.even though dip dwn i jz wana stab a knife rite @ hz hart.Now! ITs lyk 2 out of e limit. i mean,ders limit for everytink rite??!! how cud he!! wad a roudy behaviour!!Even it is a trival matter, dey make it soo revengeful..So full of grudge n agony..

I juz cant xtricate frm dz pblm. I cant simply ditch my soul.We haf 2 stand up 4 our own rite u noe.For no reason,he cud juz xplode.wth.i min. who do he think he is.He can just and when throw hz tantrum @ epul!! itz SOOO NOT FAIR!!! wake up 2 e real world man!! stOp reverie!! I jus cant stand it much longer!! Last tym,it used to be tranquil. But now,eva since dat "angel" of his came,everyting seems to be soo "right"

Now he react so xceptionally 2 us. Wateva w hz promises n wrdS!! U can got to hell w it!! Stop giving us monosyllabic replies!! If i knew this gona happen,i will jz leave u alone in e dark!! argh!! This is sOOO irritating!!

I just need some peace. Go to hell w u bro.Hw can i eva regard u as my own? omg.how foolish of me!! Well.. Between me n epul now has really got ntg 2 do w u!! Go lead ur own path!! DUn eva turn back n ask 4 our help! Dont u even dare thinkn abt it! Go along w dat "angel" of urs!! SO engross w it! Mark my wrd. One dae u will really REGRET doin diz 2 US!! Loser!!

Thing betwwen me n epul is really working on!! i just cant wait 4 e future!! hehekxs!! Of coz i hoping it 2 b u noe.hahahakxs.. Weve bin 2gher 4 soo long!! lyk 2yrs bin w ech othr! i love saiful!!! I alwaes do!! muacckss! love you. gtg now.

Arttistippus outz..Cls call..

Wad a Dae..

2007-08-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

Hye..At last!! wad seems lyk eterntiy!!
I finally managed to find tym 2 update ma entry!!

Neva feel dz real

I love eUu pwecious..

Alright..My prelim haf startd..wow..tym due past soo super fast!! I got xactly 1 mre month 2 my MAJOR XAM!! suria!! jyjy!! Its totally eeriee..Niwae..Its my 1st tym takin my paper in e hall.. Its lyk soo spacious..Totally comfy!! PLUS! MRE NOISES!! WTH!! lolxs.. Ok my SS wz lyk sooo ez..hahahKz! yeah!! i love it!! muacckss

After all e stress, we went to Mac n had our breakfst..We were lyk so super noisy..Lolxs

Ok afta all e pluckin n shaving..(dey noe i noe but u dun!!) We head dwn 2 dz fashion..ouhk2 la e clothes.. Not mch attracts my interest..Afta all e commotion. We went home.

Den..tok2 w mummy..Den went 2 bugis V..otw der..wth.. e mat2 ite..kept staring..but wateva. rch der.WOW!! super nice cei everytink!! hw i wish i cud grab everytink dat interest me.. so ya..i bought sum stuff.. yipee!!

Otw bck...didnt noe dat gona met miz.. wth!! makin tall xey nie anak!! he saw us.dye salam mama.den nk salam dye tk sdap lak.dpn gal dye..slalu jumpe kte slam tegor sume..den got gul dye..kaku ar.. Tpi gul dye ok.tk sombong..pretty chinese gal u got Miz!!

Ok now..@ diz com..chattin w my pwecious..Ouh..Gona MISS HYM!!! he will b goin 2 treganu..ala..Haiz!! an is cumin bck sooon!!! miss ya bro!!

Ok..got to go..My pwecious nyd me 4 now!! chiao!!

Is This wad Dey call Lyfe?

2007-07-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hye... Its me..im back..
Well this is my 2nd blog..wateva..
i 4got my 1st blog password n account.. lolxs..

" Life was Beautiful Then

I remember that Time

I knew wHat was

HAPPINESS...

LEt tHE memOry Live aGain.."

Ok.Lets begin..

Well time have changed.so those everyone..And I mean it. EVERYONE!! Niwae..i would like to take dis chance..Congrats!! 1yr2mth anny to Us darLxx!! Thanks 4 everything that you have sacrifies for me for the past 3yrs.. Thanks dear.. i love you..

Hm..sch lyf?? Its diff...i duno how to xplain.. its lyk..im not doing very3 well in my academics.. It fyl so suCkx.. really2 suckxx..And yar.. i learn something that is very useful in lyf. Usually.. im owaes w e crowd ..(sumtink lyk e centre of attraction...wateva) I learnt that.. Being popular and not (getting w ur clicks or being away frm them) is totally diff in many various wae..Be it physically or mentally.. Let me define these two based on my xperinces.

IF YOU"RE W E CLICK( centre attraction or wateva dey called it) :

1. People will noe u very well (duh)

2. Personally, you feel that ure famous or well-known and think that people ard appericate you.And could get along

3. You tend to forget those who are the quite2 type..More lyk 2 a loner. in ur eizn..Cuz you think they are anti-social when actually they needed friends just as much as you do!

4. Lyk of cuz you love all the attention given by others!

5. Being at the top, you tend to 4get others' thoughts and feelings..In a way, you PRESUMED that people can tolerate w your attitudes juz bcoz you are POPULAR..

6. Its totally not comfortable.As people will be watching every of ur movements..

7. & plenty of thousand more..lolxs

IF you're the not so popular or more to the quite type :

1. You will realise how its lyk being hurt.(critism etc.)

2. You know what you can improve on (attitudes etc) to show others what youre capable of.

3. Being humble and not stuck-up lyk those populars ones.In a way,youre not choosy.

4.You realise that how it is lyk being LEFT OUT.

5. You will cherish the time you had with your closest friends. You know whats the meaning of frenship,trustworthy.

6. Most importantly,you know who you can turn to for a shoulder to cry on. And you will take all the odds and setbacks as parts of enduring LIFE. And you can move on knowing that someday, you will be much wiser and stronger in facing such circumstance in futures to comes.

7. You will learn a lot in life.Keeping yourself from a distances, you can compared what is right and wrong. Simply just by seeing your popular friends' attitudes. Take em as a role xample in a way. lolxs. Trust me u will.

8. Its 4 me 2 noe,n 4 u to FIND OUT!! BlueK!

Well.. thats what i feel lyk n xperinced.This are my point of views.But hye.No comments to others' point of view..Im just jotting down how i personally felt.ITs not a crime isnt? When im with the crowd n wen i stay a distance away frm them.. I can really learn a lot of tings..Be it gud or bad. Well.. This is life.. Now i really now how it feel lyk wen ure r @ e top n bottom.. Im happy,proud w myself. Ive learnt soo many thing and useful points in life.. One thing for sure,

"NEVA GIVE UP IN LFYE NO MATTER HOW BAD IT MAY BE!!"

Juz haf FAITH & U'll make it THRU.. That wad i evaluate..Lolxs.. Maybe all this happen,it must have plenty of reason behind it. And yes, I could see that. Im so thankful.. Alhamdulilah.. Amin..

Ive learnt, on your way up,remember those people that might be there 4 u on ur wae down.. Im glad. Juz greatful to realise dis. And you cant really xpect who will be your faithful friends espcl wen ure in trble or down..etc... ;]

Its not that im being left out or sumtink.Its jus that i want some space for myself. For me to different shade frm everything that ive seen n listen. Let me xperinces 4 myslf. And yeah.. I made it!! *cheers 4 dat*